Simmer down, Shannie!

I’ve been getting a bit of flack for my sappy emo-girl blog posts.  So, I’m emotional.  I can admit it.  But, I’d like to think of myself as well-rounded with equal parts emo-girl and yes, bitchy-mcbitch.  I hope the aforementioned posts don’t give readers out there the wrong idea.  I can still bitch with the best of ‘em.  So, to prove it, here’s a list of things that really piss me off (in no particular order).  Oh, and this is just today.  I’m sure I’d have a completely different list if asked tomorrow.  There’s lots of stuff, ya see.

Things I Hate:

• subdivisions
• man-jewelry
• excessive plastic
• tattoos-yes, I have tattoos.  And, yes, I hate tattoos, even my own.  I do, however, love my friend Amy’s tattoo on her back.
• random tom waits impersonations
• loud phone talkers in public places
• trucks (really hate SUV’s unless they’re hybrids)
• people who do not hold cell phone normally, ya know, those people who, for some reason, think it’s really cool to hold the phone a few inches in front of the mouth when speaking?  Like a walkie-talkie?  Then bring phone back up to ear to hear.  WHY?
• Dudes that go shirtless on the trail that should not be going shirtless out in public
• Dudes that go shirtless on the trail that look good and know they look good
• stinky gym dudes
• stinky gym dudes who jog and fart up-wind of me on the trail or track
• Dudes that do their hair up all nice to jog the trail.  Like, seriously, why do you need a faux-hawk to run?
• Ladies who decide it’s a good idea to drown themselves in stinky perfume just to go out for a run.
• Damn computer problems.  Ask Craig.  Many a hissy-fit over computer-related issues.  I’m talking MAJOR hissy fits.  HATE that shit!
• Wedgies
• My mom gut
• Waking up early
• bullies in the work place
• GEEZ- that really annoying guitar dude on the trail who always yells out “good job mom” and plays his generic hippy guitar.  Like every single time I go he’s there.  Although, I guess it’s pretty cool of him to do it.  But I wonder, what does he do for a living?  He doesn’t look homeless.  He’s a mystery to me.
• sensationalistic weathermen
• gladiator sandals
• other stupid fads
• hootchie-mammas
• the 6th st scene.  Although, Mooseknuckles is pretty damn awesome
• cigarettes.  I even hate the word.  Hate everything about them.
• The word rural.  Although, when paried with juror, it’s good.   “Rural Juror”.  Nice. Thanks, Tina Fey.
• The word webinar
• Fox news
• 100 degree weather
• The old professors who play basketball on the courts under the inside track at the gym.  They take it so very seriously and get reallllllly angry if someone on their team makes a bad play.  They scream-cuss each other out and yell a lot.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a sailor’s mouth (naw, really?), but I think it’s horrible to scream-swear at people.   It makes me uncomfortable and mad.  Especially over a stupid basketball game.  Simmer down, dudes.
• My wrinkles and post-pregnancy skin- it’s developed into dry, wrinkly crappiness.  Ugg.  I seriously need to completely rethink my skincare routine.
• being called “ma’am” everywhere I go on campus.  EVERYWHERE.  ALL THE TIME!
• Other stuff.

Wow, this felt kinda good.  Maybe I should do a weekly “things I hate” post if for nothing else, to vent a little.  Simmer down, Shannie.