Stinky Marie

Did you notice when this thing was going around Facebook?   I did one for myself a while back (remember, I love lists), so now I thought I’d do one for Luci Goosie, or Chubby Chapman as we’ve been calling her as of late.

1. Her hair is insane.  Like insane-in-the-membrane, nutzo-craze-o insane.  Some days it’s curly, some days it’s flat.  Every morning, the front is part frizz-ball/part grease pit.  It’s un-tamable.  I honestly have no idea what to do with it.  I’m a horrible hair-mom.  I just don’t know how to tame it!!!!  The only thing I really do is wet it in the morning and sort of crunch it and let it air-dry so it’s curly.  I love her curly hair!
2. She cracks up incessantly at the word gym.  Or Jim.
3. She sleeps face-flat, arms to side and butt straight up in the air.  Like every single night (hence the crazy frizz-ball bangs when she wakes up).
4. She loves it when you copy her doing anything.  Make the same noises.  Copy her movements.  She thinks it’s all very hilarious.
5. Because of the flat-faced sleeping technique she’s got going on, she wakes up looking totally unlike herself- all puffy-faced and drowsy.  It’s the cutest thing.
6. She loves to throw hissy-fits.  I think she got my flair for temper-tantrums.  If she’s “over” something, she’s over it.  Like, get it the F away from me right this very second or I will freak out and scream.  Loud.  And throw things.  And,  freak out!
7. She loves Matt’s El Rancho.
8. She is so very sensitive.  If you so much as look at her the wrong way, her lower lip starts that pouty-quivering thing that is her precursor to a big cry.
9. She LOVES playing “Where’s Luci”????  She’ll cover her eyes with her hands, toys, blankie and we go “Where’s Luci”?  She removes hands/blankie and we scream “OH!!  There she is!!!  I didn’t see you there”!!
10. If she’s crawled away to a place she knows she’s not supposed to be (like let’s say by the dog food), and if she hears you come up behind her, she covers her eyes– she thinks when she does that, she really is invisible.
11. She’s moody.  Sometimes she wakes up all giggly.  Other times, she’s miss bitchypantz.  Kinda like her Daddy.  Ok, ya got me.  More kinda like her MaMa, I guess.
12. She doesn’t like you feeding her Cheerios.  She’s a big girl and likes to do it herself.  (oh, yes, she finally likes Cheerios- hated them for the longest time it seemed).
13. She LOVES the pool.  She’ll stay in it for hours on end if she can.
14. She’s recently located her lady-parts.
15. She loves other kids.  Everything about them.  When we are out somewhere, she just stares and stares at the other kids.
16. When she’s tired or sad, she lays her head on your shoulder and it just melts your heart.
17. She never went through the phase of putting everything in her mouth.  Not sure why, she just doesn’t do it.  Hope it doesn’t start.
18. Her favorite song is that “love in a coffee shop” song that is on the commercial for that phone company.  Every time it comes on, she drops whatever it is she’s doing at the time to listen.  Never fails.
19. Loves remotes and cell phones.  But then again, what kid doesnt?
20. Her favorite food is mixed mango and pears.  She freaks for it.
21. She is SO easy going.  We are so lucky.  She loves to sleep and can entertain herself in her crib in the mornings while we’re showering.  Again, I realize, we’re very very lucky.
22. She’s a talker.  Constantly making some sort of noise.  She does this yodeling thing that I LOVE.  I’m determined to get it on tape and will post it.  It’s the CUTEST sound I’ve ever heard.
23. She loves Don Williams.
24. She now has 6 teeth- 4 on the bottom and 2 on the top.  She CONSTANTLY grinds them though and it makes the most horrible sound I’ve ever heard.  I hope she stops that soon.
25. She loves her Daddy.  For realz serious-like.  They really have a special bond and he’s so damn good with her.  Sometimes I catch her just staring at him with this contented smile on her face- he lights up her world.  It’s pretty amazing to see.

Oh, and I just have to add one more:

26.  She totally smells like cookies.

Needed to find an attention-grabbing subject line to grab ya back, reader…. that is, if there are any readers still out there.  Sorry for my posting-hiatus (I don’t count the last post about the stinky gym dude as a real post- I just needed to bitch).  I’ve been uber busy.  And, uber stressed.  Work has been kicking my butt and I’m busy gearing up for our vacation next week!   (final countdown- 1 week!)!

So, I think it’s pretty funny that my 1st post after the hiatus is about sex.  But, I couldn’t resist.  This is kinda funny stuff.  Take a listen to this story I heard today on NPR.

Listen Now

or read the story here (the audio is better).

I can just picture this snotty literary-type dude-man sneaking Fabio-inspired tales of love and lust into faculty meetings.  Creeping lust monster!  I might recommend his technique to some of our faculty members.

Yeah, not that exciting of a story I guess.  But when I heard the title of the book, I knew it was meant to be- so if for nothing else, posting it so I could steal the title for my blog post.

Again, I know I suck for not posting recently.  So, well, I figured I needed to come back with a bang! (ha ha)

That’s what she said.

Dear Skanky, smelly-ass Gym Dude,

It is NOT ok to smell as bad as you do.  It is NOT acceptable for you to come barging into the track like you own the place, with your dang smelly, stinky, deeeesgusting gym outfit made of crap.  And, your stupid, stinky “running shoes” that aren’t even running shoes at all, they’ve got no arch support, and they suck.

I’m all for working out.  I’m even all for working out and stinking afterwards (just ask Craig).  I am, however, NOT all for stinking so bad BEFORE you even start working out that you make other people gag and almost barf up their lunch when you run past them.  So, dear skanky gym dude- just a little helpful hint- it is NOT against the law to wash your clothes after a workout.  Nope.   AND, it may surprise you but it’s not against the law to, let’s say, wear varying sets of workout clothes on different days of the week.  There is no hard and fast rule that says you MUST workout in the exact same smelly-ass, puke-green shirt and sucky khaki shorts every day of the freaking week.  I bet you don’t even change out your socks, you grodie-barf-a-riffic-Mr.stinkz-a lot- piece of workout grossness.

Seriously.  Why do all old dudes at the gym stink?  I’m going to do a study and I bet I’ll find that all old guys, let’s say 44+ers, are big-time stinkers.  Seriously, you walk into the faculty weight room with all the old dudes and the pungent B.O. smell that washes over you immediately upon crossing the threshold is enough to bout knock the breath right outta ya.  I did a test one time and walked up to the student weight room, opened the door and was pleasantly surprised with the sweet smell of cheap men’s cologne.  I’d take cheap cologne (heck, I’d even take country cologne) over old-geezer-B.O. any day of the week.   Seems these old geezers have either lost their sense of smell or are just too old to give a damn.

Skanky, smelly-ass gym dudes????  Young or old!!??   —-  “That’s a deal-breaka, ladeeez”!!!!

Thank you for giving me 60 shots in my thighs.

Thank you for holding my hair and wiping my face when I was puking in the parking lot after the 1st IVF procedure.

Thank you for holding my hand through many painful procedures and wiping my tears after many painful disappointments.  I realize I’m stronger than I look and I probably near-bout squeezed your hand off…  (But, “Bitch Please…..”, don’t be surprised.  And, let this be a lesson, and a reminder– I could completely “take you” in any wrestling/scrappy-grappling/mixed-martial arts scenario imaginable.  Bitch, please…. you know I could).

Thank you for bringing me yummy food and goodies and making sure I had good movies to watch while on the couch recovering.

Thank you for spoiling me rotten during pregnancy by taking care of me and also completely redoing our house.

Thank you for coming to every single one of my drs appointments.  Seriously- every. single. one.

Thank you for being my “rock” during my scary labor.  (Seriously, y’all- I was freaking the f-out- as per usual.  Crazel was as cool as a cucumber- as per usual).

Thank you for always being the voice of reason and talking me down when I need it— when the worry is over-the-top (which is all the damn time, really).

Thank you for taking care of me after my C-section.  A newborn baby and new-born-babymama-going-crazy-recovering-from-surgery-and-trying-to-breastfeed– must not have been all that easy.  Not easy at all.

Thank you for being patient with me.

Thank you for being a good sport about the daily donning of my flannel basketball pajama bottoms- - - - and, y’all-they were made for a 13-year-old-boy and I seriously put them on immediately after work like about 5 days a week.  For like the last 9-10 years.  Seriously-like as soon as I walk in the door.  And, seriously- they have basketballs- ALL OVER THEM.  Ok, damnit— ** see below**

Seriously though….

Thank you for taking such good care of our daughter.  And, of me.

Thank you for loving our daughter so much that you can’t stand to be apart from her; check in on her every single night while she’s sleeping; sing to her; play your guitar for her; laugh with her- and at her; teach her; hold her; protect her; read to her; cry for her; take the BEST care of her.

(Already, in her short 10 months here- she is 100% completely/wholly/unabashedly SMITTEN with you.  Like in a MAJOR way.  Luci loves her Daddy like there is no tomorrow!!!!!!)

To sum it all up, thank you for giving us our Luci.  And, thank you for being the best Dad I could have ever dreamed Luci to have.  She is the luckiest little girl on the planet.  And, I’m the luckiest lady.

Happy Father’s Day.

I’ve been getting a bit of flack for my sappy emo-girl blog posts.  So, I’m emotional.  I can admit it.  But, I’d like to think of myself as well-rounded with equal parts emo-girl and yes, bitchy-mcbitch.  I hope the aforementioned posts don’t give readers out there the wrong idea.  I can still bitch with the best of ‘em.  So, to prove it, here’s a list of things that really piss me off (in no particular order).  Oh, and this is just today.  I’m sure I’d have a completely different list if asked tomorrow.  There’s lots of stuff, ya see.

Things I Hate:

• subdivisions
• man-jewelry
• excessive plastic
• tattoos-yes, I have tattoos.  And, yes, I hate tattoos, even my own.  I do, however, love my friend Amy’s tattoo on her back.
• random tom waits impersonations
• loud phone talkers in public places
• trucks (really hate SUV’s unless they’re hybrids)
• people who do not hold cell phone normally, ya know, those people who, for some reason, think it’s really cool to hold the phone a few inches in front of the mouth when speaking?  Like a walkie-talkie?  Then bring phone back up to ear to hear.  WHY?
• Dudes that go shirtless on the trail that should not be going shirtless out in public
• Dudes that go shirtless on the trail that look good and know they look good
• stinky gym dudes
• stinky gym dudes who jog and fart up-wind of me on the trail or track
• Dudes that do their hair up all nice to jog the trail.  Like, seriously, why do you need a faux-hawk to run?
• Ladies who decide it’s a good idea to drown themselves in stinky perfume just to go out for a run.
• Damn computer problems.  Ask Craig.  Many a hissy-fit over computer-related issues.  I’m talking MAJOR hissy fits.  HATE that shit!
• Wedgies
• My mom gut
• Waking up early
• bullies in the work place
• GEEZ- that really annoying guitar dude on the trail who always yells out “good job mom” and plays his generic hippy guitar.  Like every single time I go he’s there.  Although, I guess it’s pretty cool of him to do it.  But I wonder, what does he do for a living?  He doesn’t look homeless.  He’s a mystery to me.
• sensationalistic weathermen
• gladiator sandals
• other stupid fads
• hootchie-mammas
• the 6th st scene.  Although, Mooseknuckles is pretty damn awesome
• cigarettes.  I even hate the word.  Hate everything about them.
• The word rural.  Although, when paried with juror, it’s good.   “Rural Juror”.  Nice. Thanks, Tina Fey.
• The word webinar
• Fox news
• 100 degree weather
• The old professors who play basketball on the courts under the inside track at the gym.  They take it so very seriously and get reallllllly angry if someone on their team makes a bad play.  They scream-cuss each other out and yell a lot.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a sailor’s mouth (naw, really?), but I think it’s horrible to scream-swear at people.   It makes me uncomfortable and mad.  Especially over a stupid basketball game.  Simmer down, dudes.
• My wrinkles and post-pregnancy skin- it’s developed into dry, wrinkly crappiness.  Ugg.  I seriously need to completely rethink my skincare routine.
• being called “ma’am” everywhere I go on campus.  EVERYWHERE.  ALL THE TIME!
• Other stuff.

Wow, this felt kinda good.  Maybe I should do a weekly “things I hate” post if for nothing else, to vent a little.  Simmer down, Shannie.

I love lists.
This is for all you lady-mammas-to-be out there.  I know a few peeps who are knocked-up so I thought I’d send out an unsolicited list concerning all things essential as I see them, for the 1st 9 months.  I’ve divided it into pre-baby checklist, newborn, and things you can wait on.  I also included a list of things I did not miss and that you might want to steer clear of.  I’m a bare essentials type of gal- I did not want all this extraneous baby shit sitting around my house unused.  I remember being completely clueless and had to rely on friends’ advice to get me through.  Remember, Amy and Tisha- strolling through Babies-R-Us with a clueless Shannon?  I couldn’t have done it without you guys!  Also, good God, I don’t know what I would’ve done without my sister’s advice and input and help…. So, pay it forward, here is the list:

Newborn Needs:

Onesies- 8-10 (size 0-3 months); 12 (size 3-6 cuz they grow so darn fast).  Luci  basically lived in onesies during those early months.  They just seemed the most comfortable thing for her.  I wasn’t all about “dressing her up” at such an early age- too much of a hassle, we never left the house, and some of those outfits seemed downright uncomfortable!  Nice, cheap, soft onesies did it for us for a long, long while.  My only advice- buy very few small ones and mostly medium sized at first.  You’ll be amazed how fast they grow!!!!

Other outfits- pants and t-shirts; zipped, footed pajamas; and of course, you’ve GOTTA have SOME cutsie outfits for all the photos!!!!  Suggestion- 7 or so outfits.

Diapers- Swaddlers, smallest size.  I’d get 3-4 huge boxes so you don’t have to run back to store right away.

Diaper Genie- We have Diaper Genie II and have had no problems with it.  Do not forget to buy multiple replacement bag thingies- like 5 at first so you don’t have to worry about going back to store for more for a while.

Diaper Cream- Desitin is the BEST (and cheapest); don’t go for all those expensive brands- my sister tested them all out for us!  Her findings- Desitin blows them all outta the water!

Bathtub- one that fits in your kitchen sink so you don’t have to bend over your bathroom tub.  We still use the same bathtub and she’s over 20 lbs now!  I can’t remember brand name but we got it at Babies R Us, pretty generic.

Socks-Trumpettes are the only ones that will stay on.  I’d get 12-pair.  Baby can wear these (one size fits all) until they are about 1 year old.  Luci has just about grown out of these- but they make toddler sized for 1-2 year olds so I need to pick up some of those soon.

Bibs- once you start bottle feeding, you’ll need a shit-ton of these.  My sister gave me probably 15 terri cloth bibs and I was like, what the HELL am I going to do with all these bibs?  Well, I used them all the time, still am and STILL had to wash frequently.  I’d recommend 15 cheap, washable- will use till at least 9 mo of age.  They WILL get stains on them!

Baby Book- I love “Baby 911″ by Dr. Ari Brown- she is a Dr at my pediatrician’s office.  Friends got this book for us and it was our bible for 1st 4 months  for sure!  Everything you need to know from red flags to sleeping patterns to nursing, to development.  Great!  I still reference this book occaisionally.

Thermometer- some pediatricians require you to have anal themometer.  I know, sounds horrible but my peds office said that if we called in saying our child had a fever, 1st question would be if we took it with anal themometer.  If not, they’d make us hang up, go purchase one, retake temp and call back.  Baby doesn’t even feel it- we did it when she was asleep and wouldn’t even wake her up.   She still doesn’t even realize anything’s going on down there.

“My Breast Friend”- I call it a “boob-preserver” and it is hands-down SO much better than the “Boppy” for breastfeeding.   Night and day.  If you’re going to breastfeed, this is a MUST.  It made my life so much easier after the lactation consultant recommended this.  Made a HUGE difference in my technique and technique is everything when breastfeeding!

Boob cream- You need pure lanolin.  I used Lansinoh and loved it.  This stuff is miracle in a tube.  Won’t get into the gorey details on here but suffice it to say, you WILL need this stuff if you are breastfeeding!  Bring to hospital.

Nursing bras- Target has cheap ones that were perfect for me.  I had 2 and went back and bought about 5 more to avoid having to wash one twice a day!

Nursing pads- I remember having absolutely no clue these even existed when Amy and Tisha pointed them out at Babies-R-Us.  Uh, yeah.  You’ll need these.  You’ll need a TON of these.  I got the washable type mostly and probably got about 40 of them.

Lingerie or sock washing bag- to wash nursing pads in so they don’t get lost.  Also useful for small baby items like socks.

Burp-cloths- get a ton of them.  Babies-R-Us has this really annoying brand that completely lose their square shape after washing which make them impossible to fold….I THINK they were the organic cotton type, so stay away from those.  I probably have 15 or so burp cloths.

Washcloths- get a ton of them.  I think I have about 20.  I use 2 for every bath.

Baby hooded towels- I bought the cheap packets at Target.  I think we have about 6 of them.  I also have cheap regular hand towels as extra padding for countertop for after we remove her from tub in kitchen.

Blankets- get about 8 of the thin flannel kind for swaddling.  Then, a few extra plush, cute ones for other purposes.  We really overdid it in the blanket area (I love blankets).  I have about 20 of them and didn’t go through that many.

Kiddopatamus-Swaddle Me wraps-  These  were awesome when it became to hard too swaddle her in a regular blanket.  These are easy to use and really worked for us.

Crib sheets- I am addicted to crib sheets.  I have about 8 of them and that has served us pretty well so far but I think 3-4 would be essential.  Target has cute ones!

Mattress pad- 2 in case one gets soiled and needs replacing before you can get to do the laundry.

Mattress- recommend organic one.  Make sure you air it out prior to assemling it with sheets, etc.  And, get one at least 2 months before you have baby so that all the chemicals, etc can “air out”.

Diaper changing pad- we just got one that sits on top of regular dresser and it’s worked out great for us.  See below for anti-slip material.

Rubber carpet anti-slip- for use under diaper changing pad if you’re using it on top of regular dresser.  You can get it at Target in rugs section.  Just cut a piece small enough to fit under pad and works like a charm- Thanks, Amy!

Sleep sacks/wearable blankets- Once Luci started hating being swaddled, these things were life-savers.  She still sleeps in one every single night and will probably continue to do so for a long time.  I think she was over being swaddled at 2-3 months and these provided the extra warmth she needed to keep her warm in such a cool room (see below for recommended temperature in nursery to avoid sids- it’s a chilly 69 degrees plus fan!)!  Only complaint- the ones you find at Babies R Us are so CHEAPLY made.  I haven’t looked elsewhere and keep suffering through broken zippers, etc.  We’re about ready to move up to the next size and I’m going to track down some better quality ones.

Small Fan- the news that circulated air helps to reduce sids by 72% came out right after Luci was born.  We went out and bought a fan right away.  I was freaked because of the chilly air in her room- but apparently, fans don’t help decrease the temperature, they just circulate the air so all was good.  Don’t point it direclty at the crib.

Humidifier- especially for winter nights.  The last thing you want is dry snot clogging up those nostrils-makes for horribly long and hard feeding times!  We got a cheap one at the drug store and used it just about every night.

Nose-sucker thingie- a MUST, especially for a bad cold.  However, according to our Dr, you’re not to overuse it as it can irritate nasal cavity and make everything worse so we basically tried to use it right before feedings so that Luci would actually eat!

Throat-sucker thingie- Luckily, we didn’t have to use this a lot but you need it.  Especially for the first few weeks, while they’re getting used to swallowing, etc.  Peace of mind.  I carried mine around with me everywhere in my diaper bag.  Bring it to the hospital.

Eucerin- My Dr. recommended this for Luci’s excema.  I don’t know if it really works because she still has it, but it’s very moisturizing, very mild for baby’s sensitive skin (and I’ve tried all kinds of creams for excema and nothing’s worked so far).  Just regular old Eucerin.  I put it on her every day still.  Note- not recommended to put anything on baby’s skin for first few weeks to 1st month.  Dr. also recommended Aquaphor and I use that, too.

Formula- even if you’re breastfeeding, have it on-hand.  We tried both liquid (more expensive) and powder.  No difference.  Powder is cheaper and easy peasy.

Bottles- get BPA free bottles (BPA can cause all kinds of problems-it leaks from the plastic when it has been heated).  I liked Green to Grow (thanks, Jami!).

Bottle drying rack- simple one.  And bottle brush.

Munchkin plastic bottle parts holder thingie for dishwasher (for nipples, tops of bottles, etc).  A coworker got one for me and I had no clue what it was.  We use it every single day still.

Milk Storage bags- Once you get to the point where you’ll actually leave the house for any amount of time, you’ll need to pump and store.  There are many options for this-the freezer bags seemed to work best.  There are also containers you can get to keep in fridge.

Car seat- duh.  Get one that works with your stroller for easy transport of sleeping baby.

Stroller- duh.  I LOVE my BOB for jogging.  Fabulous!  No complaints here.  We got the “Sports Utility” one since we jog on the trail a lot and it’s just perfect.  The front wheel doesn’t turn so it’s not great for a regular stroller. However, you could totally get the “Bob Revolution” and use it as your jogger AND regular stroller.  Just get a car seat that goes with it.  Regular day-to-day stroller- get one that works with the car seat for easy transferring of sleeping baby.  Ease of use is key so test it out in the store.  Ease of use and weight.  You don’t need an expensive stroller as long as it’s easily manipulated and light, you’re fine.  If you’re a jogger, save the $ and use it on the Bob jogger instead-it’ll change your life.  Ok, not really, but it’s the best damn stroller ever.

Wipes- shit ton of these.  I use Target “unscented”.  Never used a wipe warmer and never would- not needed.

Mild baby wash- not supposed to use anything but water for at least the 1st few weeks.  Get something mild.

Nail clippers- I didn’t get comfortable cutting her nails until she was about 3 months old.  It’s scary!!!  After the 1st month, I think, you can peel them if you want.  Before that, the nail isn’t separated from the skin yet so I wouldn’t touch them.  Socks work (so they don’t scratch themselves while sleeping).  The mitten things they sell that are all cutsie-steer clear- they do NOT stay on!!!!  They also make onesies with folds that go over the hands- we used these a good bit too and they worked fine.

Swing- Ummm… at first, I refused to buy one.  I hate big plastic baby looking shit.  Hate that shit.  Amy let us borrow hers and THANK GOD she did.  The was the ONLY way Luci would sleep the 1st night.  I highly recommend you getting a swing.  Doesn’t have to be anything big or fancy.  A small, cheap one will do.  For the first few months, I didn’t like leaving Luci in her crib while I was awake so I always put her down in the swing in the living room where I could keep an eye on her.  She loved sleeping in the swing.

Breast pump- duh.  Get a good one.  Thank you, Tisha!  Shirly reminded me you can rent a hospital grade one.  Do this- it is NOT gross at all (sounds it, I know).  Once you figure out how it all works and that only the replacement tubes, etc etc “touch” you, you’ll see what I mean.  You’re basically just renting the motor.

New set of tubes- etc if you’re borrowing a breast pump

CD Player and soothing CD’s for nursery- Luci still loves acoustic guitar and I think it’s from music in her room at an early age and also Craig playing to her.

Things you can wait on

Bouncy- one that hangs in the doorway.  Luci loved it!

Bumbo- We fed her in this for a few months but you don’t need it until they can sorta sit up, maybe around 3 months.

Lots of toys- they literally sleep and eat for like 3 months.  lots of extra toys that early will clutter up the house.

Convertible car seat- don’t need this till they are 20 lbs, around 10 months old

Food processor- you may want to consider buying one if you plan on making your own baby food (a lot easier than it sounds)

Things for Mom/Things to do before

Robe/Slippers- for hospital

Comfy PJ’s- you will live in these

“Spa-like treatments” for your showers- Showers are rare.  Make them worthwhile.  Spoil yourself with good, yummy smelling essentials.  I did and it made my showers extra special.

House clean- pay someone to do a good cleaning about 1-2 weeks before due-date.  That way, you come home to a really clean house and you don’t have to worry about it

House projects/organizing- won’t have time after baby gets here

Read up on C-sections- just in case.  I had no idea recovery was going to be so painful

Shopping- stock your kitchen about 1-2 weeks before due date (or even a few weeks earlier than that, just in case).  Anything and everything you can think of- you WILL go through it.  Easy to prepare dinners and yummy snacks, etc.  Include maxi pads on this list-lots of them.

Ask friends/relatives to bring you food- Essential.  Our friends Kevin and Tisha stocked our fridge for us while I was in the hospital.  It was AMAZING coming home to the yummy food they got for us.  Also, other friends brought us food throughout the weeks following Luci’s birth.  I remember the securing of food being such a pain in the ass and it would’ve been WAY WORSE without the help of our friends.  They also brought us food in the hospital- this is essential because if you’re anything like me, you’ll be STARVING and hospital food sucks.

Find a good pediatrician who has a nurse lactation consultant on staff- ESSENTIAL.  We spent about 3 hours with ours and she was AMAZING!!!!  Changed our lives!

Learn to take naps at weird times- You must sleep when baby sleeps.  I could not and it wreaked havoc on my everything.  I wish I had actually practiced taking naps.

Things I did not get that I did not miss

Wipes warmer- not a necessity

Exersaucer- I hate these big plastic things.  If they made a cool mod one, I would’ve gotten it.  I think there’s a market for cool, mod baby stuff.  I wanted a sleek wooden one.  Not out there.  Didn’t miss it anyways- and she had one at daycare.

Bring to Hospital

Robe/Slippers

Socks

Snacks- seriously.  I was in there for 5 days and we raided the hospitals snack area like 30 x per day.  I would recommend stuff like pudding and jello.  I couldn’t get enough.

Toiletries- I remember the 1st shower post-surgery.  It hurt like hell but damn, did I smell better afterward

Baby outfit

Change of clothes- comfy

Notebook to write any notes from Dr/lactation consultants

Baby book- for the little footsie prints

Lansinoh- Boob cream

Oh, and take everything they try to give you in the hospital home with you- you’ll need ALL of it.

I’m sure I’m forgetting things so I will add as I remember them.  It’s a lot to think about but eaiser to get a hold of than it seems.

Perhaps one of the most easily-recognized jazz tunes, Dave Brubeck’s “Take Five” just turned 50.   This is an amazing song.  And, “Time Out” is an amazing album.  Ok, so I’m not musically-inclined and unless someone points it out to me, I wouldn’t be able to determine four-four from  five-four from whatever.  But, I can appreciate a damn good song that was WAY ahead of its time.  Luckily, Crazel is musically inclined so he can help explain and point out the intricacies to me.  Even I know enough to realize that this song is something different and it’s amazing- it still stands out today.

Listen Here

Dave Brubeck is so damn cute!  He’s 88 and still playing.  Just amazing.  I haven’t been to a good jazz show in FOREVER.  Would love to see Brubeck.  And, I think his philosophy for keeping his fingers nimble could serve as good life-advice for all of us:   Just play as much as you can, while you can!

Birth of the cool?  Totes.

Well, crap.  I love ya, my lil Luci Goosie.  But, Good Lord….. the things you did to my body when you were in there!  My goodness, they weren’t lying when they said having a baby changes your body forever.  Couple that with the fact that I’m quickly approaching the big 4-0…. and holy moly, not a pretty sight!

To all my HS and college friends out there- remember how I would never wear just a bathing suit in public?  How I’d always wear shorts over it?  Well, little did I know that it was ALL DOWN HILL from there.  Geez, what the heck was I thinking back then?  I should’ve been happy with what I had!  I should’ve listened to you guys!

I’ve got a little more than a month left to get bikini-ready.  NOT gonna happen.  Nope.  Apparently even training for a marathon won’t be enough to get rid of the post-pg GUT from hell.

Ok, so I guess I haven’t been perfect in my training and I’m sure the [gallons of] queso I’ve consumed since Luci’s birth isn’t helping either.  Guess I’m gonna have to learn to watch what I eat now.  Which is no fun.  I’d rather work out for 5 hours a day and eat what I want than have to watch my caloric intake.  Looks like just working out isn’t going to cut it anymore.

So…. no Matt’s El Rancho for me tonight.  Strictly salads from here on out (ah-huh, like that’ll ever happen).

I’ve lived with my thunderous thighs//tree-trunks-for-legs (thanks Jim Spiesman) my entire life, so I’m kinda used to that.  I am, however, NOT used to having a gut.  And it is Jamaican me crazy!

So, my skinny-minny mama friends out there- let me know your secret.  What can I do with this thing?

Oh, crunches you say?  What are those?

Huh…. interesting concept.  Very enlightening.  Let me take that under consideration and I’ll get back to ya….

I have this thing I do when I’m on a run– I always, always walk the bridges.  No matter where in the run they “hit”- whether it’s time for a break or not;  no matter what/no matter when- I always walk the bridges, always have.  Friends I’ve run with even tend to make fun of me for this nonsensical running habit of mine.

I have no idea why I walk the bridges.  It’s not based in logic, this random break in my runs- it’s really for no reason at all.   Simply, it’s because I’m taking the easy way out and being just plain lazy.  It’s really that simple.  For some unknown reason, my brain tells me that the bridges don’t really “count” and therefore,  I don’t hold it against myself for holding back, for resting when I don’t really need a rest.

I was thinking about this during my long run today (yes, you’ve guessed it- I was walking a bridge)…..  And ya know what, it’s more than just “taking the easy way out”.  It’s about not pushing myself, not challenging myself.   I came to the conclusion that walking the bridges presents an interesting analogy to taking the back seat in life; not seeking out new challenges; being afraid, for whatever reason, to push yourself and to live life to the fullest.  In my somewhat stretch of an analogy, the bridge represents self-doubt.

I then got to thinking about one of my best friends whose father passed away this weekend.  I’ve been struggling to come up with the “right” words to say to my friend after such a horrible loss.  {On a side-note, It’s funny, I’m paranoid that people expect me to know exactly what to say, since I’ve been through the loss of my parents.  On the contrary, I never know what to say because all I can remember is how nothing anyone said to me really made a difference at the time. There are no words….  Only the passing of time and the support of family and friends can get you through}. But today, during my whole “walking the bridge” running-reverie, I think I came up with something.  Ya see, even though I never met his father, I know from stories, and from reading posts about him on my friend’s Facebook page, that he was an amazing man who inspired a lot of people to live their dreams  (he was the high school principle).  And, he raised a son who, among other things, inspires others to challenge themselves and live their dreams; to have the courage it takes to never ever take the back seat in life.   I know my friend is passing this valuable life-lesson down to his children.  What an amazing man his father must’ve been to instill this notion of self-worth, courage and confidence in future generations.  Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Which got me thinking about the 1st entry I made to Luci’s baby book…on Day 3 of life.  I haven’t read it since the day I wrote it, but today on my run, I remembered that it touched on some of the same ideas.  At major risk of being completely embarrassed by the total cheeseball-ness of it all (remember, post-pregnancy hormones could be to blame here), I’m going to copy it here for all to read:

Our Wishes for You- August 7, 2008

Luci,

Your Dad and I hope to provide you with every opportunity for happiness.  We want you to grow up truly happy, living life to its fullest.  Travel!!  Learn about other cultures!  Be open-minded and accepting of people from all walks of life.  Think outside the box and don’t be afraid to follow your dreams.  Be yourself and have confidence in yourself.  Be respectful of others’ opinions but don’t be afraid to voice your own.  Be strong and be resilient- life isn’t always easy.  Be thankful for what you have and help others when you can.  Believe in yourself and never let anyone take you for granted.  Don’t waste time worrying; the little things don’t matter in the long-run.  Make good friends and keep them.  Enjoy good music, make life fun and keep a good sense of humor.  Be able to laugh at yourself and don’t take yourself too seriously–be silly and smile often.  And above all else, be kind.  We are so happy that you’re here and can’t wait to watch you grow up!  What a fun journey it’s going to be.  We love you!  Love, Mom and Dad

So, to sum it all up, my little Luci:  Lesson #2:  Don’t ever walk the bridges.  Run.  Run just as fast as you can.

And, so you know, today, I walked my very last bridge.

This is the most kick-ass poster I’ve ever seen.  Of my favorite movie on the planet:

Blade Runner Fabulous

It’s “loooong sold out” (blah blah blah). 

If anyone can find me one of these, I will be your slave.  For life.